


Rule No 1

by annstro (an_nn_n)



Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Additional Warnings Apply, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Angst, Angst and Romance, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:53:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26007535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/an_nn_n/pseuds/annstro
Summary: Rule Number 1 when you are Gay: Never fallin love with straight guy
Relationships: Kim Myungjun | MJ/Park Jinwoo | Jin Jin
Kudos: 5





	Rule No 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Homophobia, swearing, insecurity  
> Disclaimer: It's fanfiction! There are no malicious intended while writing this fanfic.

Debuting in group full of boys is either bliss or despair for gay boys. Well, gay boys debuting as an idol in conservative country is hard enough actually. How many times you need to lie to cameras to tell about your preference, girls presumably. Or even talk you get hard by watching straight porn. Myungjun is one of them. When he signed the contract he knows all the consequences of being gay but he still did it anyway. Myungjun knows he is gay when he is in high school. He actually comes up to term bisexual first but then slowly understands he is homosexual as his sexual tendency mostly is into boys. But his affectionate goes both ways, so probably biromantic? 

Myungjun soon after put into a group of boys trainees. With other trainees, they put on a show every week, soon after they will finalize the debut member. At that time, Myungjun focused on his debut, yes, his friends are hot but it's not time to get laid. Debut is a hard time. Just after they pass the first year, Myungjun starts to feel free time. He starts to see how his bandmate is actually very tempting. It does not lie if Myungjun said, instead of Hyunbin or Wonbin he sometimes imagined his groupmate while jerking off. They are handsome, sexy, well build, and Myungjun are very gay for them.

ASTRO has 6 members, Myungjun has 5 boys (4 actually because Sanha is a baby) for himself. As said at first, debuting in a group is either bliss or despair. First, because Myungjun can see hot boys at the same time for every time he wants. And obviously their circle of friends is another boys group, another win for his little gay heart. But again, he can only see him, Mungjun didn't dare to fall in love, Myungjun didn't dare to wish more than the spectator and he was content with that kind of life. 

Myungjun thought to keep it for himself and not falling in love are easy. They are busy, they have lots of schedules, the only time they spend in the dorm is limited. It's easy to not fall in love right? But he can't lie, he did feel attraction to one of his groupmate. It was when one of sleepless night. The effect of having schedules is less time to sleep at night. It's not only him, but all the members always have trouble sleeping. It's either they put themself tired so they can fall asleep or just take pills to help them get rest. But that time, Myungjun didn't want to, instead, he walked to the living room, changing the ambiance to maybe get a good sleep. But instead, he found Jinwoo sitting in the kitchen bar. 

"Oh, Jin-ah, not sleeping?"

Jinwoo looked up from his laptop, his glasses on tack, "Oh, M Hyung. Can't sleep?"

Myungjun nods and walks to get water. He flops down beside JInwoo, "What are you doing? It's late. You should go to sleep,"

"I'm just making code and beat. Just it seems I have the inspiration, but I had been stuck," 

Myungjun holds out his hand, Jinwoo understands that and gives one of the airpod and then they both listen to the code and beat Jinwoo make. "Can I?" Myungjung asks, pointing at the laptop.

"Sure, it's never hurt to play. Just don't really mess it up," 

Jinwoo let the older play with the music instrument application. Jinwoo knows despite that Myungjun persona is playful and messy, he can be very serious if it's about music. Jinwoo lean to his elbow, eyes still on the Myungjun hand in the keyboard, "Why are you look at me like that,"

"You are so cool while working like this," and if Jinwoo cant sees the blushing cheek because of the dim light, let it only be Myungjun Secret.

"What are you talking about. You must be so sleepy if you talk like that. Here, listen to it and now go to sleep," Myungjun gave back the airpod and he walked back to his room. Myungjun can see Jinwoo put back his airpod and start to listen to the beat Myungjun writes. Instead of cheerful and loud, he found a very slow, steady, and relaxing sound. Jinwoo smiles as he saved the work before then decided to rest for the day.

It's not long until both Jinwoo and Myungjun fall into routine while composing and writing music. And it's not long until Myungjun knows he fucked up, because he indeed falling in love with his groupmate, his friends, and his leader. But hey, its been years since Myungjun enter the entertainment world, and nobody suspects him being gay. Hiding little feelings is supposed to be easier. It's all come down when there is only Eunwoo and Him in the home. It's been a long time since Eunwoo had free time, and both of them don't have practice schedules. So both sit in the living room, TV on which play some variety show, with Chinese take out and can of beer in front of them. 

"Hyung," Eunwoo said after they are done with their dinner.

"Why? Do you want to change to Netflix? I think there will be new series release,"

"Hyung looks at me," Myungjun frowns but keeps his attention to Eunwoo, "Why?"

"Hyung, are you perhaps in love?"

Myungjun is perplexed with the question but he easily composed himself, "What? What kind of question is that? Let me tell you Mr face genius, you Hyung right here is very much single and please don't rub salt on it,"

"Hyung. I'm very good at acting. I know which one acts, which one are real," Eunwoo said, "I think," he added.

"So,"

"You are in love Hyung,"

"If you said like that. Who am I falling in love with? How can I fall in love if there is no object of attraction for me,"

Eunwoo sigh, "I don't really want to ask you this, but, are you gay, Hyung?"

Myungjun nearly burst his beer to Eunwoo's face, "What?"

"Before you become so defensive. Let me tell you, I'm bi. I attracted to both ways. I assume you are too, but I think you are gay rather than bi,"

Myungjun take a deep breath, Eunwoo seems so serious, "So, what if I am?" Never in Myungjun lives, he is gonna come out this fast in the group. 

Eunwoo smiles, "Then, my next line will be correct. You are very much in love with Jinwoo Hyung,"

"What? How can you say that?"

Eunwoo rolled his eyes lazily, "Duh. You're obvious. It's like seeing love pour out from your eyes,"

Myungjun took a deep breath, "Did I really that obvious?"

Eunwoo nods, "For me. But probably not for them. It's safe with me. I mean, if I'm not bi and have bi radar, I probably don't know you are gay. I just seen it Hyung,"

"Keep it secret. It just dumb crush,"

"I just hope Jinwoo Hyung is gay, or at least Bi, or Pan. Whatever,"

"Why?"

Eunwoo scoff, "Remember, the first rule of Gay?"

"Hm?"

Eunwoo stand and walk beside Myungjun, pat his shoulder for more dramatic effect, "Never fall in in love with straight boys,"

Eunwoo kept his promise to never talk with anyone. He didn't even mention gay or bi after that. It's all starting to normal again. One night, after an early ended practice the Hyungline decided to drink together. Moonbin and Rocky were staying behind to perfect their routine and Sanha chose his game rather than drinking. 

Eunwoo is strongest from all of them so he takes it slowly. Myungjun strangely doesn't really want to get wasted that night opted for beer rather than soju. Meanwhile Jinwoo, even knows he can't drink much, already half of his bottle. Jinwoo is definitely slightly drunk. It was the 4th glass of his Soju when Eunwoo stopped him. "Hyung. You're drunk. Stop," But Jinwoo drank it anyway. 

"Why are you this drunk? Are you stressed? Is it because of the company?" Eunwoo asks, and Jinwoo just waved his hand.

"I want to date, Eunwoo-ya. Why there is no girls attracted to me? Am I not handsome enough? Yes, I may not be handsome like you but I am still charming. My muscles are good too. Why there is no girls want me? Do I'm not flirt enough or give them a good signal?"

"There is someone that definitely loves you, Hyung. Be patient, You are attractive. Don't worry, there will be time for you to date," Eunwoo assures, he side glance to Myungjun who is still enjoying his own beer.

"I know. I know there are people who love me. But I want GIRLS. I want WOMAN who loves me. Not men. not boys," Myungjun stopped his glass midway, he looked at Eunwoo, Eunwoo brought his hand to put down the glass, he didn't even know his hands were shaking.

"Hyung. What do you mean?"

"Do my face shown that I am gay? I'm fucking straight for the fuck sake. I can't get hard by seeing dicks, I get hard by sexy women, big breasts, slim long legs. Not broad shoulder or same genitals as me,"

"Did you get approached by them?" Eunwoo's hand is still on Myungjun's hand which is still shaking.

Jinwoo scoff, "Plenty on bar, I mean, I understand if you are into dick but assumes everyone into dick are dick. I’m fine if you are gay like really, I will not but in with your relationship or your sexual preference or anything. I really don't give a fuck. But please can you not do it to me? It's sickening. Do you know how it feels, it's disgusting Dongmin. It's so disgusting when they flirt with you just because in their eyes you are attractive. It is so disgusting. Why can't they just put it in their pants, really, just do to people with your preference and go away from me,"

Eunwoo can't believe what he hears, "Hyung," He grips his hand tight to Myungjun because He knows Myungjun hears everything.

"Its right Eunwoo yah. It probably happened to you one or two how you handle it? I mean, it so disgusting thinking there are other men imagining having sex with you, gay sex. Isn't it just so filthy? Ugh," And Jinwoo gulped down another glass of his soju. 

Eunwoo seems to starstruck so Myungjun uses that time to put off Eunwoo's hand and sprint home. Myungjun did try to hold his tears, he didn't care how fast he ran, he just wanted to hide behind his blanket. Myungjun shakily put the dorm pin number, he found Sanha play with his game and turn to see him. He knows Sanah must sense something because of his red eyes. He doesn't want other pry eyes. The first thing that comes to Myungjun mind is locking himself in the shower. 

Myungjun can't feel anything when he turns the shower to the max, he lets the cold water hit his skin. Myungjun are fall into his knee. He leans to the tile and rests his face. The tears soon distinguish by the water. "You are so stupid Myungjun. You are so stupid. Why you need to feels this broken. Eunwoo warns you. You are so stupid, Myungjun. Jinwoo does not oblige to accept you, he does not oblige to love you back. I shouldn't..... I shouldn't......"

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfic was tribute to some homophobic who said they are fine of gay as long as it's not themself, as long its not their idol, as long as it's not their family, as long as gay people didn't love them because apparently gay is disgusting. But they still come to said "I don't care if you are gay"
> 
> I don't have any intended malicious for Jinwoo for this fanfic and everything I wrote is solely for purpose of the story, I hope you all understand.
> 
> Thank you for reading until this point, please leave out a comment or kudos or just anything~


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